God intended for these two purposes to be inseparable. Sex is for deepening love between a husband and wife and for the procreation of children.
God designs sex for two purposes: to be love-giving and life-giving. One is to explain why contraception goes against God's plan for sex, even in marriage. There are two ways to respond to this question. If you are getting to know someone-or are in a relationship-remember: If it's love, love waits. Waiting until marriage to have sex is a mature decision to control your desires. The feelings are temporary their consequences are long-lasting.Īll good things are worth waiting for. But the possible costs of an unexpected pregnancy, abortion, and sexually transmitted disease-as well as the deep hurts that can come from a broken relationship-outweigh the feelings of the moment. Having sex before marriage may feel right for the moment. choices that could change your lives, your goals, and your plans forever. It's wrong to put one another in danger of having to deal with hard choices. Love will never cross the line between what's right and wrong. Love never demands something that will harm you or the person you love. Love wants what is best for another person. Consider these lines from the pamphlet "Love Waits": Think about the harmful consequences that can come from sex between unmarried persons. Measured against this standard, is having sex without being married truly an act of love? How do you know when somebody really loves you? When he or she wants what is truly best for your welfare, your happiness-now and in the future.
Love means wanting what is best for the other person, seeking the greatest good for that person. The way to answer this question is to ask: What does it mean to "love" another person? So if you're a virgin, you're in good company. Fifty percent of the girls in this age group now report that they are virgins so do 45% of the boys.Īccording to a number of studies, students who get good grades, who have goals for the future, who abstain from drugs and alcohol, and who often attend religious services are all significantly less likely to have had sex than students who do not possess these qualities.
Furthermore, the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth found a drop in adolescent sexual activity for both males and females, ages 15 to 19, for the first time since the survey began in 1970. In fact, about half of high-school-age teens are virgins. I then address a number of questions that young people often have about sex. Whichever group you belong to, I'd like to offer you a way of thinking about sex-a way I believe will help you make good sexual decisions, ones that will help you build a good character and lead a good and happy life." "All of you belong to one of four groups: (1) You have never had sexual intercourse, and you do not intend to do so until you get married (2) You haven't had a sexual relationship, but you're not sure what you think about sex before marriage (3) You've had a premarital sexual relationship, and you don't see anything wrong with it (4) You've had a premarital sexual relationship, but you now consider it a mistake-or you're not sure what you want to do in the future. Chastity is the strength that helps us use our sexuality according to God's plan.Īs a psychologist specializing in character development, I am often asked to speak to young people about sex.